Blog Post Focus: Pros and Cons of Living with Parents/Family as a Resident
This blog post will discuss pros and cons of living with parents as a resident. Depending on where a resident matches it may or may not be possible. Depending on one’s relationship with parents it may or may not be a good idea.
Personal Thoughts
Living With Parents and Away From Parents in Undergrad and Med School
I went to college out of state. I wanted to experience some place different. Then, I was accepted to a medical school near my parents. For the pre-clinical years I lived with them. For the clinical years though I realized I wanted some freedom.
I found the value of living separate from my parents was greater than the increase in expenses. For one year I lived alone and for one year I lived with a friend. For my intern year I was close enough that I could have lived with parents again, but the situation I had with my friend was pretty good. Then, I matched to a different area for residency and did not have the opportunity to live with parents after that.
General Thoughts For Residents To Consider Living With Parents
Living with parents or family as a resident comes with pros and cons. If you have had the opportunity to live with family during medical school up to this point, then nothing really will change. So, whatever was good will likely remain good and whatever was bad will likely remain bad. Maybe you were out of town for medical school but matched to residency in an area close enough to your parents that now you may live with them.
Pros of Living With Parents/Family in Residency
Every family situation is different, but the pros generally include huge financial savings by eliminating/reducing rent, immediate family support, and having the familiarity of a hometown.
Cost of Living
Rent and cost of living vary area to area. If you live in a rural or suburban area the rent may be quite low and may not matter that much to you. Living near or in a big city the financial savings possible by living with parents could be huge. In lower cost areas this may be about ten thousand dollars a year and in cities it may be closer to forty grand a year or greater for rent.
To eliminate cost of living or drastically reduce it by living with parents over the course of residency can dramatically impact your financial situation. It can potentially change your financial picture from living paycheck to paycheck to paying off a significant portion of your loans by the end of residency.
Family Support
Living with family likely means immediate support. If you have a good relationship with your family then you have people to vent to and to share successes with. You have an immediate social network who cares about you and about whom you care. It may mean home cooked meals. It may mean a home with few responsibilities outside of your work. This can dramatically cut down on expenses and time that would otherwise be spent shopping, cleaning your home/apartment, and preparing food.
Familiarity
The familiarity of a hometown is handy. It can mean knowing what is available at night, on holidays, or any time of the year. It can mean having childhood friends and long-term connections available. It can mean having a comfort that may not be available living alone or in a new area.
Cons of Living With Parents/Family in Residency
Every family situation is different, but cons of living with family typically include having certain familial responsibilities, lacking a freedom that would be available to you otherwise, and always having to run things by your parents. If you don’t have a good family situation, it may mean taking care of family situations that will be extra stressful beyond your duties as a resident.
Family Responsibilities
Familial responsibilities may be light or they may be heavy. Living alone you decide what is and is not important and what needs to be done or does not need to be done. Living with family means they decide what is and is not important. If they are offering you free living or a small rent then in exchange they likely expect you to help out with things around the house. You know your family – discern if this would be worth it or just another source of stress for you.
Restrictions on Freedom
Reduced freedom is a con of living with family. Living alone you can have anyone over anytime, or you can forego company for extended periods of time. Living with family means they can invite anyone over anytime or may not want anyone over for any reason. They may lock doors at certain hours or have dogs or other pets that get loud if you come home at night.
If you live with your parents you probably need to run things by your parents. You can’t just share their space and expect to use it as you want. Ultimately it is their space. Also, they may make plans without you realizing it. Suddenly, you have to take care of pets or plants or household chores when they travel some place. If you want to travel they may make you feel guilty for not helping out with them.
Bad Family Situations
Bad family situations exist too. Sure, lots of financial savings can be had by living with parents, but potentially they expect you to use your loans on them. Or they expect you to take care of them. Or they expect you to do any myriad of things that make you disbalanced and disquiet.
If your family makes you anxious or you feel that living with them is not a good idea, then avoid it. Even if you are in the same area, find ways to prioritize yourself and get away from bad situations. Residency is extremely tough and does not need to be made worse by bad family dynamics.
Conclusion—Living With Parents During Residency Has Pros and Cons
Living with family during residency has pros and cons. For many residents it isn’t even an option due to the MATCH process. For some people it is possible. Discern whether it is a good idea for you to live with your parents/family or not. If it is, it can be a really good situation filled with support and reduced expenditures. If it is not a good situation, avoid it. Others make it work without living with their parents and so can you.
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